


i still get a little scared of something new (but i feel a little safer when i’m with you)

by vore



Category: Hatchetfield Universe - Team StarKid
Genre: F/M, G/T, Mouthplay, Soft Vore, Vore, g/t vore, just tread lightly, lex loves her big dumb idiot boyfriend and those are the facts, lexthan, safe vore, shifter!ethan, starvation mention, technically I could tag this with eating disorder I guess but Not Really, yeah there will be more fics sorry in advance hdjdhchdjdhsnajsksk, yes all of this applies and to normies I am so sorry
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-13
Updated: 2020-12-13
Packaged: 2021-03-10 17:28:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,556
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28050921
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vore/pseuds/vore
Summary: She’s been thinking of running away for so long that sometimes, she forgets to look back and remember who she’s running with.Apparently, two in the goddamn morning is the best time for Lex Foster to have a personal reflection, an encounter, and a reminder that no matter what happens, she’s not doing it alone, all thanks to one Ethan Green.
Relationships: Lex Foster/Ethan Green
Comments: 9
Kudos: 19





	i still get a little scared of something new (but i feel a little safer when i’m with you)

**Author's Note:**

> Read the tags. This is in fact a vore fic. Cool? Cool.

It could always get worse, couldn’t it?

That wasn’t the best thought to be having at two in the goddamn morning.

That wasn’t the best thought to be having at _all_. 

Not that Lex Foster’s hellbrain seemed to care about that, because fuck her, apparently.

Inhaling slowly, the autumn air burning a trail down her windpipe, Lex adjusted how she was leaning against the side of the high school building and leaned her head back against the cold brick wall. Her eyes were half-lidded, underlined with heavy bags and smudged makeup that she hadn’t bothered scrubbing off. After all, it wasn’t like she was going to be meeting anyone on the schoolyard at two am.

She hoped.

 _Fuck,_ she was alone, right?

She better have been. Just in case she wasn’t, she found herself drawing her hood up over her head and exhaling harshly, her breath clouding up the air like cigarette smoke. Hell, she probably _would_ be clouding up the air with cigarette smoke if her lighter hadn’t fucking quit on her right before she’d hopped out the fucking window.

It was one of those nights.

The third one this week, and it was only _Thursday_ —

_Technically Friday, now._

It was almost ironic, being at the schoolyard with full intention of not coming in the morning, but in her defence, it was a completely different place at night.

At night, it was just her.

No teachers, for one, and more importantly— no fuckwad students to look at her and whisper shit to each other when they thought she couldn’t hear. Sometimes, she didn’t hear it, but most times, she just pretended not to.

There were the usual rumours. The ones about her getting knocked up by her boyfriend (not true), the ones about her fucking some teacher or another to scrape by (who the hell would she bang to get a C plus?), and the slew of others she’d heard about a million fucking times before, but recently, they’d stopped being _just_ about her and whatever she was doing.

No. 

_Now,_ they were about the Foster chick and her fucked up little sister, along with her freak boyfriend.

Those were the ones that got under her skin.

Just thinking about them made her fingers twitch lightly in her pocket. 

Insulting her was one thing. She’d grown up with it— fuck, if she could take it from her mom, she could take it from a bunch of fucking freshmen— but insulting the people she _cared about_ was too fucking far, not that that ever did anything to stop them. Not that she _could_ do anything to stop them. 

Again, she took a sharp breath. Her eyes slid shut when she exhaled in a steady stream. 

God.

She was pathetic.

Here she was at a school she hated at two in the morning because she’d needed air and didn’t want to run the risk of waking her mom. 

Being out at night, though dangerous, was something she loved. There was a weird sort of solace in it, coming out late with nobody to bother her or ask questions. The second she’d hopped out onto the sidewalk, it was like she’d kicked into autopilot, the desire that sat under her skin forcing her legs into motion and carrying her away from the hell she called home.

Fuck it. If she couldn’t get to California, she could get to Hatchetfield High, and damn it, the schoolyard was better than nothing. 

Her eyes opened a crack. In the dark, she could vaguely see the outline of the chain-link fence running around the field, the beaten metal gleaming in the moonlight against the blackness. The weather had cleared up for what felt like the first time in years, and as she looked upward, leaning further back against the bricks wall, she could even see a smattering of stars above her head.

That was nice. A fucking rarity in Hatchetfield. Huffing softly, again, Lex closed her eyes, breathing in the quiet when—

Her phone chimed.

Her eyes flicked open

_Who the fuck is awake?_

And more importantly, who the fuck was awake at two and texting _her?_

With a small sigh, Lex gingerly fished her phone out of her back pocket, momentarily wincing at the brightness— _fuck you, past me, for keeping it up so damn high—_ before she managed to focus on the message.

 **Gearshift🖤:** it’s 2am on a fking friday 

**Gearshift🖤:** and im sitting @the park 

**Gearshift🖤:** alone

She snorted. 

The second her read receipt popped up on the bottom of the screen, his typing bubble appeared once more.

 **Gearshift🖤:** holy shit go 2 bed

 **Gearshift🖤:** jfc u should be sleeping

Rolling her eyes, Lex lowered her head and tapped out a response, her painted nails clicking on the screen.

 **Lexie❤️:** no fuck u

 **Lexie❤️:** hypocrite

 **Gearshift🖤:** thats not a word

 **Lexie❤️:** im too tired to argue w/you about tht

 **Gearshift🖤:** then go 2 bed?

What was it about him that made her smile? God, even though she was standing in the darkened schoolyard by herself, Lex couldn’t help a crooked grin from twitching across her lips as she typed out a response, inwardly shaking her head at him.

 **Lexie❤️:** cant

 **Lexie❤️:** also not at home

 **Gearshift🖤:** shit rlly? y?

 **Lexie❤️:** couldnt sleep. climbed out the window.

 **Lexie❤️:** u?

His dots disappeared. Brows raising as they flickered to life again before cutting out, Lex exhaled and shifted her position against the wall.

 **Lexie❤️:** u good?

Again, the dots stalled.

 **Gearshift🖤:** yea

 **Gearshift🖤:** couldnt sleep

 **Lexie❤️:** Henry on the piano again?

Another stall. 

**Gearshift🖤:** smth like tht

Even over text, he was bad at lying. There was too long of a pause for him to have been typing only that, and from what Lex could see, it wasn’t like the time he’d spent ten minutes trying to spell “righteous”— _seriously,_ who the hell talked like that?— it was a genuine stop before he continued typing.

Which meant something was wrong.

She knew better than to pry when his bubble returned.

 **Gearshift🖤:** wya? 

**Lexie❤️:** hellschool

 **Gearshift🖤:** o shit!!! 

**Gearshift🖤:** wanna make my night like,,, 30% less shitty n wait there for a hot sec??

Before she even managed to reply, another notification caused her phone to buzz in her hands.

 **Gearshift🖤:** actually fuck that

 **Gearshift🖤:** gimmie 5 mins n I’ll b there

A laugh pulled up from her throat. 

**Lexie❤️:** see u then ig

Five minutes. Jesus. Was he sprinting or something? The park wasn’t all that far from the school or anything, but it wasn’t exactly closeby as far as Lex could remember. 

_Idiot_.

She couldn’t help but roll her eyes almost fondly at the thought of that, and as she tucked her phone back into her pocket and gave a small sigh, she adjusted how her hood was sitting. 

It’d be easier that way.

Less questions on his end.

Not that Ethan was one to pry into her personal life, not normally, but Lex had a sneaking suspicion that he _might_ have something to say about the ugly purple shiner she’d been given courtesy of a drunken fit. She hadn’t bothered trying to cover it up. After all, she’d skipped out on her classes that morning. There hadn’t been much point then, but now… 

_Damn it._

One of her hands shifted to press at it. _Fuck_ , it still ached. The cold air provided a little relief, but the pressure made her exhale sharply through her teeth and curl her free hand into a tight fist. 

_Better me than Hannah._

Fuck, she shouldn’t have had to think like that, but it was the truth, and from what little she’d managed to get out of her little sister once the tears had stopped, she was fairly certain she hadn’t been the only one to get a bruise from the whole ordeal despite the fact that she hadn’t seen any blemishes on Hannah at a first glance. 

The kid was good at hiding them. Fucking _too_ good. Lex hadn’t exactly set the best example or anything like that in terms of being honest— she’d lost track of how many times she’d had to fix up Hannah after their mom came home sloshed and cover up the bruises before she had to go to school— but the fact that Hannah had been using it to hide from _her?_

 _Don’t think about it_.

It was hard not to.

Hands stuck in her pockets and back leaned up against the bricks, Lex forced herself to breathe slowly and shakily uncurled her fists.

_If Ethan shows up and I look like I’m going to kill someone, he’ll just turn right back the fuck around._

Although it was a ridiculous thing to think— he _wouldn’t_ and she knew damn well it’d leave him more concerned than frightened— she managed to unclench her fists. Even if he _wouldn’t_ leave, he’d certainly ask questions, and that was the last thing she wanted. Already, she was mentally bracing for whatever the hell he’d ask her. The lighting would cover her bruise, and if she flipped her hair just right—

“Back in your emo phase or what?” 

—his voice interrupted her thoughts and made her jump, nearly smacking her head on the brick wall behind her in her haste to stand upright. 

The sound of a gentle laugh reached her ears, though in the darkness, she couldn’t really tell where it was coming from, instead, crossing her arms and huffing under her breath. 

“Jesus Christ, Ethan, you asshole!” She greeted, which only made his laughter a little louder. It was getting closer. 

“Hey, I’m just asking,” he defended, and when he did, Lex finally managed to pinpoint the direction his voice came from. 

Shaking her head and scoffing, still keeping her hair hanging over her busted eye, she gave a soft laugh. “ _God_ , no,” she promised, “I can’t _believe_ you dated me after seeing that shit. How the hell did you get here so fast? Fuckin’ book it or what?” 

Mid-turn as she spoke, Lex inhaled, ready to toss another bit of banter his way, though when her eyes snapped to him—

_Oh, fuck._

—she stopped short. 

Ethan had never been the most intimidating guy. Sure, he was a bit of an asshole to other people and had a rep to boot, but to Lex? He’d just been some punk in a leather jacket before he’d been her boyfriend, and _after_ he’d been her boyfriend, any scraps of fear she’d had regarding him thanks to a few rumours at school had faded away completely, replaced by warm feelings that were new and scary in a completely _different_ way.

Even though he stood taller than her, usually had bruised knuckles and a split lip, and drove around in a car that sounded like a fucking blender on high speed, and had some freaky ability that sometimes made a chill run down Lex’s spine to think about, he wasn’t _scary_. 

Never had been. Never would be. 

...that didn’t mean she didn’t feel her heart drop in her chest when she locked eyes with him and saw that he was standing about three feet taller than he should’ve been. 

“... _shit._ ” 

It was all she could think to say. 

What was she _supposed_ to say, anyway? He looked like complete shit. From what she could see of his eyes in the dark, they were watery and red-rimmed— and that went without mentioning the fact that his body was twitching, his height creeping steadily upward by the second despite the grin he was trying so desperately to keep in place. 

His teeth had already shifted to sharp, jutting points. 

Watching him closely as he moved, stepping a little closer to her, Lex didn’t budge as he carefully sat down with his back to the wall— his head nearly at her shoulder despite the fact that he was sitting with his legs straight in front of him. 

“...do I gotta answer that question now?” He asked, his body shuddering slightly— head passing her shoulder and hitting the brick wall with a soft thud, “or do you get the idea?” 

She winced. “Jesus, Eth, what happened?” 

Again, he shuddered. 

His jacket scraped along the wall, yet another growth spurt causing him to shut his eyes tight and ball his hands into fists, clinging tight to the flannel tied around his waist. 

Lex’s nerves grew. She didn’t _want_ them to, but it would’ve been damn near impossible to not be a little worried— not for herself, though. The last time she’d seen him this bad was when… 

She closed her eyes for a moment. 

_Don’t think about that._

_Don’t you fucking dare._

_It’s okay._

_We’re okay._

Forcing the memories out of her head when she heard Ethan sigh, she carefully scooted a little closer to him, offering a smile when he looked down at her, wearily. 

He didn’t return it. “I… _shit_ , is this—”

“It’s fine, E,” she cut him off, “there aren’t any cameras on this side of the school. Some idiot took a hockey stick or something to them and now they’re on the fuckin’ moon. You’re good to do…” Trailing off, she waved up at his steadily increasing height with a soft sigh, “ _that_.” She finished, awkwardly. 

“...you sure? I know it _really_ gave you a—”

“Do you _want_ me to say no?”

His expression fell. “I— well, _no_ —” he sputtered, uncurling a fist and dragging his fingers down the front of his face, “—but I know it ain’t exactly your favorite thing.” 

_Ah._

Lex bit her lip. 

_Fuck._

When she found her words, admittedly, they were a little slower than they had been the first time she’d spoken up. “It’s fine,” she repeated, quietly. “Really. I… I mean hey, it’s just you, right? Just… bigger.” 

When he laughed, it buzzed in her chest warmly, practically vibrating her with the volume despite the fact that it wasn’t any louder than it had been prior— it was just their proximity to each other that was doing it. That and his size… 

Their eyes met. 

“Yeah. Just bigger,” he affirmed, “and tootheir, and generally… fuck, I dunno— _more?_ ” He tried with a wave of his hand. “More than normal? I swear, it ain’t on purpose or anything, just… fuckin’ _ugh._ ”

This time, when he broke into a nervous bit of laughter, he wasn’t alone. “Yeah, that sums it up,” she agreed. 

Silence fell between them. 

Not an uncomfortable one, but one that came along with a feeling of mutual understanding. One that they both knew pretty damn well. One that made Lex automatically sit next to him and lean a little against his leg with a soft exhale and a look his way. 

“Ugh,” she repeated.

“Ugh,” he affirmed. “Whole fuckin’ town is just _ugh_.”

Again, there was silence. 

Again, his body shuddered— his shape changing beside her in what she hoped was a little more comfortable a fashion. He’d told her what it felt like to hold back, once, when his body had shuddered and shifted after some fight he’d gotten into, and from what little she knew about it, it fucking sucked. Last time he’d had to fight back a shift, he’d been a fucking _wreck_ , curled up in as tight a ball as he could manage as his bones cracked and popped under his skin from the strain.

It was a stark contrast to how he was now. 

The only sound passing between them was that of their breathing, and as she looked up to him— _all the way up to him_ — to meet his eyes, she could easily make out the fact that he looked… almost relaxed. 

His eyes were half lidded, pupils rounded in large, gentle circles. When their eyes met, he gave a soft sigh and stretched out a little bit, one of his hands falling to rest against her side. She curled up against it automatically. 

Above her, his breath hitched.

She couldn’t help but smirk. Leaning back against his fingers as they curled around her— _shit, he must’ve been holding this one back awhile if he’s so big_ — Lex looked up at him. “You alright?”

When he gave a soft huff of a laugh, his teeth seemed more pointed than they had moments ago. “With this?” He asked, curling his fingers slightly around her in a way that made her feel safe. “Or in general?”

“Well, I know you’re okay with _this_ , so tick that fucking box,” she murmured, shifting her weight against his palm and the glove he wore. His body heat was still seeping through it, and although there was a breeze blowing through the abandoned schoolyard— a Hatchetfield classic that Lex knew and loathed— she barely felt it thanks to his careful grasp. “I meant more in general, seeing as you’re… y’know, _shifted_ or whatever.”

His thumb came to rest behind her shoulders. “Wow, thanks for pointing it out. Never would’a guessed, otherwise.”

Lex scoffed and hit the fingers snugly curled around her front. “I’m serious,” she grumbled, playfully pushing at him, though when she did—

She made the mistake of letting her hood slip.

In an instant, that cautious smile Ethan had been wearing slipped into a look of genuine concern. The fingers wrapped around her gently withdrew. “Shit, Lexie…”

Her gaze trailed to her shoes.

_Shit._

_Damn it._

_Now he’s going to worry…_

Ethan had never been much of a worrier as far as Lex had known, but every time she wound up with some injury or another from a certain poor excuse for a parent, he’d get _weird._

Well. Weird to _her_ , anyway— was concern _supposed_ to be weird when it came from people _other_ than her sister?

Scuffing her heel in the dirt, Lex folded her arms against her chest.

“It’s fine,” she tried, though before she could say more, a sharp scoff wound up from his throat, the noise buzzing through her chest thanks to how close she was to him. 

“Uh, _bullshit_ ,” he corrected, the low rasp of his voice enough to make her look up and meet his eyes again, pretending not to notice the way his gaze tracked to the bruise on her left eye. “Who the hell gave you that shiner?” 

She couldn’t hold his gaze. “I’ll give you three guesses and the first two don’t count.”

In the silence that fell after her words, she managed to get out a shaky exhale and picked a little at her fingernails. The black paint she’d applied was chipped almost beyond repair, which meant it was about damn time for her to take a sharpie to them and colour in all the little cracks, though she couldn’t stop herself from flicking off another chunk of paint when Ethan finally nudged her with one of his fingers.

“...your mom?”

She flicked another chunk of paint off her nail.

“Fucking bingo,” she agreed. A black fleck hit the ground.

“Jesus.”

“It’s fine. Not that bad. I’m not going to school tomorrow, and by then, it’ll just look like shitty eyeshadow.”

Flick.

She didn’t meet his eye. The polish on her middle finger was almost gone, now, splintering away, but she couldn’t bring herself to raise her head. 

“...Lex?” He asked, softly— not that it really changed how his voice made her whole chest vibrate with the sound. 

Flick.

“What?”

The fingers next to her gently bushed across her back. The gesture, though one that would’ve made anyone sane start running, was one she’d grown almost used to. One that she found almost comforting. 

“...are you gonna be okay?”

If anyone else had asked, she would’ve lied. 

She would’ve given a fake smile, recited her list of pretty lies, and that would’ve been that, but… this was _Ethan_ . And Ethan knew— not only that, he _cared._ He _understood._

Bugger.

Flick.

Just another thing about him she could add to her running list of ways he was annoying. Annoyingly good at reading her.

Flick.

“...probably,” she responded after another long moment peeling off the black polish. “I mean, I’ve sorta gotta be. For Hannah, anyway.”

“I didn’t ask how Hannah was, though.”

Flick.

A pause followed his words, long enough for Lex to finish picking her fingernail and glance upward at him. 

When their eyes met, she noticed right away that his pupils had narrowed into slits.

“I asked about _you._ ” Saying it like it was the simplest thing in the world and coupling it with a shake of his head, Ethan gave a low growl. “I mean, _fuck,_ you know I care about her— that came out wrong. Is the kid okay?”

Lex shrugged. “I mean, no, but neither of us are. I got the worst of it. Managed to get her to sleep before bolting. Just…” She shifted her weight against his palm. His fingers gently curled around her side. “Wish she didn’t have to get _any_ of it, y’know?” She finally finished, leaning her head defeatedly against the warm leather of his glove. 

“She doesn’t deserve any of it,” he responded, sighing, “ _fuck_ , I wish I could help…”

“You do.”

It was true. 

Nuzzled against his gentle touch, warmed by the contact of his hand against her, Lex lightly patted the side of his hand. Most people would’ve been scared to be in the clutches of a confirmed shifter, but Lex wasn’t most people. She was Lex _fucking_ Foster, and damn it, nowhere felt safer. After all, nobody could hurt her here. Not her mom. Not her responsibilities. Not any of the Hatchetfield weirdos that came out late at night— none of them could even _touch_ her so long as Ethan was there. 

After all, Ethan Green _normally_ radiated an aura of not-to-be-fucked-with, but at _this_ height? 

When his fingers curled a little further around her in a light squeeze— nothing crushing, more like a hug than anything else— she attempted to return the gesture, pressing against him and sighing.

For a moment, there was silence between them, though as Lex looked up— _far_ up— she quirked a brow. 

“...what’re you doing up this late, anyway?” 

In an instant, she felt him stiffen. His hand twitched slightly against her, and as she turned to better look at him, she could see a look of unease settling on his face. 

“I…” he started, coughing slightly after the word before trying again, “it’s nothing.”

“...right.” She couldn’t keep a disbelieving lilt out of her voice. “Because shifting in the middle of the fucking night is normal for you, then, huh? And deciding to what, go for a walk at a hundred feet—”

An exasperated laugh bubbled up from his throat. “Not a _hundred!_ ” He protested with a shake of his head, “like, I dunno, closer to eighty, probably. I haven’t exactly measured.”

Lex snickered softly. “Don’t really think you _could_ . Probably aren’t enough rulers in Hatchetfield to even get to like, your _waist_ ,” she agreed, lightly jabbing her elbow against his palm. 

He prodded back at her. 

Again, there was silence, though when he met her eyes again, Lex raised her eyebrows expectantly. 

“...well?” She prompted, at which Ethan sighed and used his free hand to scratch the back of his neck, running it through the back of his short-cropped hair.

“My thing seems so stupid, now,” he finally mumbled, shifting his weight against the building in a way that made his jacket rustle. 

Lex narrowed her eyes. “Really?” 

“Yeah,” he agreed, letting the hand that had been on the back of his neck trail down to his lap where it lay, twitching slightly. “Seein’ as you’ve got an actual bruise and mine’s just…” His fingers twitched. His gaze trailed down to his hand, then over to Lex where she sat. “Stupid,” he finished.

_...no it’s not._

_Not if it’s gotten you this upset._

She’d _seen_ Ethan upset before. Seen him shuddering, holding back a shift to the best of his ability while balling his hands into fists, seen the way he’d sat stiff at the wheel of the jalopy— hell, he’d punched the dashboard once and she’d had to bandage up his knuckles— but this was a _different_ sort of upset.

The quiet kind.

Because Ethan Green didn’t _get_ quiet upset about things, not unless they were _really_ fucking with him. 

Lightly batting his palm to get his attention, Lex lifted her chin. “Bet,” she challenged.

Ethan bit his lip. 

Inhaled, shakily. 

Looked away.

On her back, his thumb changed position slightly, pressing just a little harder against her before he mumbled out a shaky sentence, voice barely rising above a whisper. “...I just about ate Oliver.”

“ _What?”_

On his lap, his free hand curled into a fist. “Don’t fuckin’ make me say it again!” He snapped, though an apologetic look flashed across his face when his volume raised. “I… fuck, sorry, just…”

Lex sat up a little straighter. Not quite standing, unable to keep an uneasy feeling from settling over her, she carefully turned so her front was pressed against where his fingers bent, arms lazily dangling over the side of his head. “Hey, don’t fucking apologize,” she started, “Eth, I think we’re on the same fucking level— what the hell do you mean, you almost _ate_ him?”

She couldn’t stop an absolutely bewildered expression from creeping across her face even as she said it, body stiffening in his gentle grasp involuntarily.

Ethan inhaled sharply. “I mean—“ spitting the words quickly, sputtering slightly, he scratched the back of his neck a little harder. “—I was just goofing around earlier,” he explained, “a-and… fuck, y’know how shifters, we can… if we _want_ to, anyway, fuck with other people’s heights? Make ‘em small or whatever?”

Lex nodded. A small part of her barely believed he’d even _asked_ , like she _hadn’t_ ended up at a height of like, three fucking inches tall because he hadn’t managed to confess normally. 

_He needs to lay out the groundwork I guess?_

Wasn’t that a saying that explained why he was running her through a list of details?

“...yeah,” she agreed as his story stalled, giving him an audible confirmation that he looked like he needed, “I think I know about that.”

He still didn’t meet her eye, but he _did_ nod, and that… that was something. 

Lex watched as he carefully let his hand rest on his knee, nails tapping at the fabric of his jeans.

“Right. Well, Ollie was being an annoying little _snot_ today, getting all on my case for tracking three steps of mud into the house— which, by the way, would’ve been impossible _not_ to do, like fuck’s sake, did he miss the memo about this place being a rainy dump?”

Lex made a so-so motion with her hand. “I mean, probably, since he’s inside all the time,” she joked, earning a soft laugh from Ethan.

“True. Well, he was popping the fuck _off,_ so… I kinda decided to… do _that.”_ On his knee, his fingers curled into a tight fist, scrunching up a bit of the denim. “No real reason, just… fucked with him awhile, y’know, teasin’ him. Grabbed him by the suspenders, licked him, it… standard stuff, really, but…” 

When he trailed off, Lex bit her lip, not wanting to say a word lest he decide to end the story there. 

The sound of him shakily inhaling broke the silence. “...I put him in my mouth,” he finally admitted, albeit, slowly. His knuckles were turning white. “Which I’ve done before— so it ain’t that bad, I guess, but for some reason, there was something _different_ about it this time. L-Like in my head, there was this little voice that just…”

His expression pulled into a wince. 

Lex didn’t ask what the voice told him. From the way he was acting alone, she already knew. 

“...the more he fought, the more I wanted to… shit, I probably sound like a monster.”

“You don’t,” she responded, automatically.

Ethan scoffed in return. “Yeah, right,” he huffed, sarcasm dripping from his voice, though when he turned to meet her eyes, Lex shook her head.

“You _don’t_ ,” she repeated, “so cut that shit out.”

Before he looked away, Lex swore she saw a weak smile flit across his face. 

_Ha._

_Score._

Lightly touching one of his knuckles— hand pushing against skin rather than leather thanks to the holes in his glove— Lex made sure to keep her voice gentle. “Then what happened?”

“I…” Sighing, Ethan lowered his head. “ _Apparently_ , I zoned the fuck out. Stopped flicking him around and just… went quiet. Freaked him out real bad, so he starts kicking more and slips a little further back than he should’ve, and I knew— I _knew_ I had to spit him out, but for a second I…”

Another sigh. 

His head lowered further.

“...I really didn’t want to. Apparently, I was purring, too. Halfway swallowed th’ guy before I knew what was happening, and now… he won’t fuckin’ look at me. Haven’t seen him all day. We made eye contact in the kitchen accidentally and he fuckin’ dipped to his room, so…” Leaning farther back against the wall, he grimaced, lifting a hand before letting it slump back on his lap. 

Lex couldn’t keep a sympathetic look off her face. “Jesus.”

His head bobbed in an awkward nod. “Yeah, it…” Trailing off, he looked down to her with a smal wince, “it ain’t good.”

_No shit, Sherlock._

Gently, she patted the back of his hand before sliding back to her previous position, though when she did, it was pretty easy to tell that his hand had moved. Instead of there being cold concrete beneath her, her knees pressed lightly against his palm, and when she settled, she felt his hand lightly moving to cup her body. Her back pressed against his fingers. 

When their eyes met, she couldn’t help but blush softly upon seeing his crooked smile.

“Hi,” she greeted, softly, at which he gave a small laugh and lifted her with ease, bringing her closer to his eye-level. It never ceased to amaze her, seeing him like this. Even with fangs that curled slightly past his lower lip and pupils that looked like they belonged to a predator rather than him, he was so _gentle_. 

His elbow moved to rest on his knee, and as she sat back a little more, he kept his eyes focused on her.

“Hey,” he returned, and when he did, the two of them both broke into soft laughter. Maybe it wasn’t the appropriate time to be laughing— hell, Lex _knew_ it wasn’t— but she couldn’t give less of a shit. If it left Ethan smiling like he was and meant that she could sit on his hand and drink in his warmth… it was good enough for her. 

Leaning back a little further against his fingertips, Lex lolled her head back and sighed softly, managing to collect herself enough to ask a question. “...so that’s it?” 

“That’s what?” 

_Oh._

_So that’s not it, then._

Rolling her shoulders, Lex carefully pushed at his palm. “You’re a terrible liar, babe,” she informed him, her point only being made clearer when he glanced guiltily down to his other hand that was still twitching on his lap. “What else is there?”

From what little she knew, there was a whole assload to choose from. There was the fact that he was living with his uncle and younger cousin instead of at home. The fact that he was a shifter who had been somewhat exposed to the teenage community— though if it was just a rumour or a genuine accusation was anybody’s guess. And that went without even mentioning the fights he’d gotten into, or the fact that he was having trouble finding a job…

Again, she prodded his hand. “...Eth?”

When he inhaled, she knew it was because he was going to come clean from the way his facial features drew together. 

“...you know about my whole... deal with my uncle, yeah?” He started, slowly. “How he’s studying me or whatever to get some award, thanks to me being… shit, there’s a word he used—”

“A shifter?” Lex piped, at which Ethan huffed under his breath.

“Nah, that ain’t a special word. Apparently I’m like… fuckin’ wacky—”

Lex snorted. She couldn’t help it. 

“ _Wacky?”_ She echoed, incredulously, “is that like a new term you’re using? Instead of calling yourself a shifter— you’re _wacky?”_

Ethan rolled his eyes. “ _No,_ ” he corrected, “I just ain’t a normal shifter ‘pparently. He called me like, a deer or somethin’? Doe… whatever.”

“Docile?” 

A grin flashed across his face. “Yeah, docile, that was it! You know about all that?”

Lex shrugged against his touch. “Sorta, yeah,” she agreed, “I know that he’s kinda keeping tabs on you— not very well if you’re managing to get away, though.” 

He laughed at that. “Hey, easy on him— I told him I was goin’ out for a walk and that I’d be back…” Trailing off, Ethan gave a sheepish noise and adjusted how he was sitting, hand gently shifting under Lex’s form, “fuck, about four hours ago.”

“Should you text him?”

“You think he knows how to text?”

“You showed me his tiktok once, so I don’t think it’s that far beyond him—”

Grimacing, Ethan hissed out a chuckle through his teeth. “I don’t even wanna _think_ about his fucking tiktok right now— or _ever_ , if I can help it. Apparently, he’s got like, an actual _following_ on there. He asked me yesterday what a ‘thirst follow’ meant—”

Lex lost it. 

Unable to keep her cackling contained, she slumped across the surface of his palm and snickered, pressing one hand to her mouth and the other against her side as the noise spilled from her. “Jesus _fucking_ christ, people are horny over your—”

“ _No fucking thank you,_ ” Ethan interrupted her, bringing her closer still to his face so she could properly see his glare, “moving on, _now_.” 

She could see her own reflection in his eyes. Instead of dwelling on it, she crossed her arms and bit down hard on the inside of her cheek in a vain attempt to keep herself from laughing. “ _Fine_ ,” she managed to get out, breathing in slowly, “I won’t talk about how horny people are for your _Uncle_.” 

In his defence, it looked like he genuinely tried to hold back a bout of laughter. His face darkened a shade, the sound of his breath shaking slightly when he inhaled one that only made Lex dissolve into giggles faster— and like that, he had joined her, grip on her playfully tightening in a way that made her own laughter louder. 

“What did I _just_ say?” He got out between giggles as Lex forced her arm out from his grip and swatted the back of his glove.

“Hey, you said we were moving on,” she protested, “and _then_ made the mistake of letting me talk, so… sucks to be you, I guess.” Looking up at him as her laughter slowed, she let out a long breath and offered him a goofy looking smile that he was quick to return— showing off his fangs. 

Even with them, he was still just as dorky as ever. With his curls loose and messy and that warm expression on his face, it was hard to think that anyone had _ever_ been afraid of Ethan Green. 

The soft expression didn’t last long.

“Yeah, I…” trailing off, he leaned just a little closer— close enough that if she _wanted_ , she could probably grab his face, though from the slight twitch starting to tug at his jaw, she knew it wasn’t a great call. His breath was warm on her front, coming out in a heavy cloud. “I did say that, didn’t I?” 

Like that, he was back to staring at the ground.

_Fuck._

The Oliver situation was already bad by itself, but from the fact that he refused to meet her eyes… there was something else bugging him. 

“Well, Henry… he’s got this new thing he wants to study. Says if I… push my body a certain way, something’ll happen eventually,” Ethan started to explain, looking nothing short of completely uncomfortable. “He’s thinkin’ it’ll be an instinct shift or whatever, or that I’ll find some way to—“

He was interrupted before he could finish the sentence. 

Not by Lex, but by a low, hollow sound from his stomach. 

A growl.

She tensed. She couldn’t help it, though the second she did, what little hope was left on his face left him entirely.

 _Fuck_.

“Eth…” Shifting how she was sitting on his palm, struggling not to let her own nerves show, Lex bit down hard on her lip and shakily scooted a little closer to the heel of his hand even though he pulled a little away. “How long’s it been since you’ve eaten?”

He only shrank further away from her in response. 

“Awhile,” he admitted.

“Awhile?” She echoed, though before she could say more, a low growl of a voice addressed her. 

“Look, can we just drop it, okay?” He asked, meeting her eyes again. His pupils had thinned out slightly, the steely blue colour of his irises seeming so much brighter in comparison, shining in the dim light that filtered down from the moon. “It’s not a big deal. Uncle Henry just wants to see how long I can go. Says there’s some weird thing in my anatomy or whatever that means I can take energy from…fuck, I dunno— it doesn’t matter—“

Lex moved closer to where his sleeve started, shooting him a glare that caused him to snap his mouth shut abruptly. “It _does_ matter, E, get that in your head. You’re his _nephew_ , not his fucking lab experiment— and don’t give me any of that shit about that being your arrangement with him, it’s _such_ bullshit that he can’t just take you in because you’re family!” She couldn’t help her volume from rising slightly as she spoke, but she didn’t care. 

Shaking his head, Ethan’s lips pulled back slightly. “No it’s not. Lex, I _know_ it’s not… normal or anything like that, but it’s fine, honest. My parents didn’t really want me in the house, and at Henry’s, I don’t have to pay rent— hell, if he gets the grant he wants for shifter research, I could end up gettin’ paid for putting up with him for so damn long.” Even though his tone was clearly trying to turn to something joking, the pain hiding just behind his fake smile was obvious enough to make her run her fingers gingerly across his glove. 

“...is he really starving you?”

“No.” Speaking quickly, Ethan used his free hand to drag his fingers through his curls, looking down at the cracked concrete beneath them both. “N-No, I’ve got permission to eat whenever it gets bad, but… it only really hurts a little…”

Lex’s eyebrows raised.

He pinched the bridge of his nose. “It gets… a little worse at night, which is kinda why I snuck out. Started to shift like, the _second_ I got out th’ fuckin’ door, and then I ended up at the park, texted you and…” trailing off, he waved a hand dismissively. “You know the rest.”

“Yeah, I do. God, I’m sorry you’re dealing with that, that’s shitty.”

Ethan shrugged. “It‘s whatever.”

“It’s not.”

“Lex…” There was a warning lilt in his voice, though she ignored it, instead, raising her chin defiantly. 

“Ethan,” she countered, mirroring his tone. Two could play at that fucking game, and Lex had _practice_ . She’d kick his ass, though… when a reluctant expression crossed his face and he forced himself to speak in a voice that really, _really_ didn’t sound like his own, she almost wished she’d just let it slide.

“...four days,” he admitted, softly. 

Lex gave a soft wince before she could help it, exhaling heavily through her teeth. “ _Jesus_.”

_That explains why he almost… did that._

Bringing a hand up to scrub across her face, she carefully shifted back to rest against his fingers. “I’m sorry,” she murmured, at which Ethan gave a halfway shrug. 

“Don’t be.” The back of his jacket scraped lighty against the side of the building. “You’re not the one who decided it’d be a good idea.”

“Uh, neither are you!”

“I wasn’t talking about the starving thing! I—” Stopping himself and inhaling, gritting his teeth to a point where something in his jaw visibly twitched, the fight went out of Ethan before her eyes. The tenseness in his shoulders faded. The way his eyes gleamed seemed to dissipate a little. _“_ I mean, _shit_ , I didn’t mean to scare him so bad.”

Lex cocked her head. “...then… why do you keep on saying you’re a monster?”

“What?” 

“Why do you keep saying that?” She repeated, a little bit more confidence in her voice, “it’s clearly a load of horse shit—“

“I just about _swallowed_ him _whole_!” Ethan sputtered. 

“But you _didn’t_ though!” Raising her voice, Lex tugged a little on the ends of her hair. “Fuck! You spat him out— you knew it’d be _wrong_ , and that means that you’re _you_. How many monsters that you know of would’ve let him go?”

“But I—“

Shaking her head, she sucked in a breath through her teeth. “ _No_ buts. _You_ ,” she stopped, looking him dead in the eye and batting the palm of his hand, “are _not_ a monster, Green. I don’t give a shit that you have urges or whatever you call ‘em— you didn’t follow through. You didn’t _actually_ eat him— and even if you _did_ , I… I know firsthand that you’d spit him back up.”

Her wording made him flinch. 

On the inside, she joined him. She couldn’t help it. Determined not to let it show— he’d explained since then, explained how his fucking instincts had kicked in or whatever, and they were fine, they were cool about it, it was in the past— she exhaled slowly and gently poked at his hand.

“You’re not a killer, E,” she reassured.

He gave a huff. “You don’t know that.” His tone was bitter. Sour. Almost _dark_ in a way that made gooseflesh rise on her arms, though it _also_ made her narrow her eyes and huff right back at him. 

_Really?_

“Uh, _yeah,_ I sure as hell do.” Moving closer, this time, Lex shakily stood on his palm, bracing heavily against the fingers that automatically brushed against her side. “A killer wouldn’t be sitting here telling me how bad he feels about almost swallowing his little cousin— he’d be off… fuck, I dunno, _wrecking_ shit like Godzilla or whatever.”

Ethan exhaled a laugh, the warmth from it ghosting across her body. “Well, now that you _mention_ it,” he weakly joked, though she was quick to silence him with a swat to the thumb. 

“Can it,” she instructed, “I want you to hear this. You’re _not_ a bad person just because you _thought_ about doing it, so stop thinking that way. Do you have any idea how long it took me to figure that out?”

She didn’t wait for him to respond. Instead, she gave a sharp laugh and tugged a little at her hair, pulling her eyes away from his face. Her gaze tracked to his palm under her feet as she took a wobbly step closer to his face. 

“I mean, shit, sometimes I used to think that it’d be easy to just… leave without Hannah. It was stupid, and selfish, and looking back, it was so fucking _wrong_ , but I didn’t. She’s coming with us when we go.”

“We?”

The fact that he sounded hesitant was enough to make her heart twist in her chest. Reaching for him, she gave a crooked grin when he gingerly brought his head closer, close enough for her to lean forward and set her weight on his cheek.

He was so much warmer than the night air. His breath was hot on her front. His skin was soft against her hands, and as she leaned against his face, she pressed her cheek to his, still smiling softly.

“Yeah, dumbass, I’m not about to leave you here.”

From where she was, she could _feel_ the tension he had draining away. His head lolled a little closer to her where she stood, nose pressing lightly to her middle. A soft hum shook through her.

It turned to a purr on his next exhale.

When she’d heard it the first time, she’d made fun of him, but hearing it now? She couldn’t help but lean closer, the gentle vibrations making her chest feel warm. His hand was folding gently over her back, the other one coming to lightly brace her legs as he nuzzled affectionately against her front, his rumbling only growing louder when she gave a small laugh.

“I’m serious,” she murmured, voice barely rising above the sound. “I’m not leaving you behind. Just make sure you can actually fit in the car, and we’ll be good to—“

A different sound interrupted his purring.

Before she even had time to properly register what it was, he pulled away, purring stopping without warning. “I…”

There was guilt on his face.

It didn’t belong there.

As much as there was a small amount of fear that washed over Lex when she placed the noise as his _stomach_ protesting its emptiness, she knew it had no fucking right to be there. After all, as much as she hated to admit it, it was somewhere she’d visited… and come out of unscathed.

“...sorry,” he murmured, those eyes— god, those fucking puppy-dog eyes that left her with her heart fluttering in her chest— full of uncertainty. His pupils had rounded again, but from the look on his face, it was easy enough to tell that he was on the verge of putting her down.

Which she sure as shit didn’t want. 

Not ever, if she had it her way.

“Hey,” she prompted, painfully aware of the lack of warmth now that he’d moved— _fuck,_ it was cold out— she raised her eyebrows. “It’s not your fault. Don’t apologize. Hell, if I could help with that—“

_What the fuck am I saying?_

“—I would.”

For a moment, she stood, hands still where they’d been when he’d been close to her, shoulders drawn slightly upward as the implications of her words sunk in. The implications, along with the fact that she… didn’t want to take them back. 

When his eyes met hers again, his pupils seemed thinner, but oddly enough, Lex wasn’t afraid of the near hungry expression on his face. There were nerves in her chest, sure, bundled there in a tight, awful knot that she wished would leave, but as she exhaled… she found herself offering an awkward smile. 

His lips twitched. For a moment, it looked like he’d return it, though his brows drew together.

“Would you?” He asked, softly.

He was closer again.

Although she knew he’d never use them on her, her gaze automatically tracked to the fangs curling from his mouth, noting at once that his lips seemed damper than they had moments ago. His breath was back to making her hair rustle.

 _God,_ he was enormous.

It was always so easy to forget he was capable of picking her up in one hand until he did it, and even when it _did_ happen, he was always so gentle— so genuine and goofy about the whole thing— that it was always a shock to remember he could _literally_ pop her head like a fucking grape between his teeth, or even his _fingers_ if he wanted. There was a reason shifters had a reputation. They were unpredictable, and monstrous, and bloodthirsty, at least, from what Lex had read, but Ethan?

No.

God, no.

He couldn’t be if he tried.

Pushing her nerves down deep, Lex gave him a small nod of confirmation, spreading her arms at her sides. “Yeah. I… I dunno if it’d help much, but hey, if you wanna…” She trailed off, giving a heavy swallow before trying again, “ _eat_ me,” she explained, voice wobbling slightly, “I don’t mind. Go for it.”

His pupils were thinner than they had been a moment ago. 

Her face felt warm, an embarrassed flush settling over her face as she glanced down at his palm and gave a sharp cough. Her heart rate had quickened slightly. 

It only grew faster when his tongue poked out from between his lips just a touch, though not from fear—

_Am I excited about this?_

Was that what it was? 

Fuck, that sounded so weird. Okay, excited wasn’t the right emotion— but nervous wasn’t, either. Nor was fearful. Maybe it was anticipation? 

Lex barely had time to process it before Ethan dragged his fangs against his lower lip in a way that more than caught her attention, showing off the twin points before shaking his head softly. 

“I… Lex, you don’t have to—“

She didn’t let him finish her sentence. “It’ll help you, won’t it?” 

He winced. “Well, _yeah,_ but it’ll—“

Again, she didn’t let him finish. “Then go for it, E. I don’t mind, and hey, it’ll fuckin’ _prove_ that you’re not a monster, won’t it? Hell— it already _did.”_

Those huge blue eyes trained on her closed in a startled blink. 

“What?”

Nodding, smiling softly at the confusion that crossed his face, she met his eyes, softness written across her features. “A monster would’ve just done it, Eth,” she murmured, “ _so_ , my point sure as hell still stands.” With a smirk, she leaned forward and swatted the end of his nose. “So… I win.” 

He stuck out his tongue in response. 

She moved without hesitation. In an instant, her hand connected with the surface of his tongue, the warm muscle twitching lighty under her touch as a surprised noise pulled from his throat, his tongue withdrawing damn near immediately. 

“Lex, what—” He sputtered, at which Lex carefully set her hand back at her side and shrugged.

“...you’re warm,” she informed him, flatly. 

It was hard to keep her tone so deadpan, but it was _completely_ worth it to see Ethan’s face flush a bright pink and hear a small, startled noise that more than contrasted his size tug up from his throat. His pupils had rounded out exponentially— looking like those of a cat who had finally been given a favourite toy— and when he inhaled, his breath quivered lightly. 

“So are my _outsides_ ,” he protested, at which Lex gave a soft snicker. 

“Yeah, I guess so, but… I dunno, I just…” 

When his eyes met hers, she exhaled through her teeth. “ _Fuck_ , this shouldn’t be so difficult to ask for, y’know?” 

The last… fuck, two times had been on his behalf— the first time not one Lex thought fondly of at _all_ , and the second being… considerably _less_ awful, if she had to admit it— though she’d been pretty damn far in her own head when that had happened. This was different. This time, there was no panic, no anxiety— she was thinking _clearly_ as she looked up at him and awkwardly shifted her weight, feeling the warm puffs of his breath on her front. 

His stomach growled.

Her insides seized up at the noise, though it… didn’t feel like fear. It had been fearful the first time, sure, and the second time, it had been… less-than-ideal, if she was being honest, but this time it was something else. 

Agian, the word _anticipation_ floated through her subconscious. 

He bit his lip. 

“...you don’t need to—” he started to say again, though she cut him off with a groan. 

“It’s not _just_ about you, Green,” she huffed, stepping a little closer to the edge of his hand— standing just before his wrist started, “I… I mean, _yeah_ , it’d help you, but I… _fuck_ , look, I’m going to say a few things, and they’re _probably_ gonna sound pretty weird, but I don’t care, okay?” 

She didn’t give him a space to respond. Dragging her fingers through her hair, she slowly sat on the edge of his hand and gave a harsh laugh. “I know I like, kinda freaked out the last times that happened, b-but that was only because the first time, you didn’t _explain_ anything, and the _second_ time, I was just… not doing great, but…”

Embarrassment caused her face to turn a shade darker. 

Fuck. She was really going to just... come on out and say it, huh? One of Ethan’s fingers lightly brushed against her back as she crossed her arms against her chest, and to her surprise, that… was all it really took for her to meet his eyes. 

“I don’t mind it,” she admitted, softly. “I… I _like_ not having to… fuck, worry? If that makes sense? Worry about— y’know— _other people_ figuring out where I am, a-and not having to watch my back all the time, I…”

Breaking into a soft laugh, she leaned back a little. “I like _you_ , Ethan, like, a _whole fucking lot,_ and…” Looking down at where her feet hung off the edge of his hand, Lex breathed out a shaky sigh and wrung her hands together in front of her. “I like… I like feeling _protected_ by you, it… it’s like I’m _safe_ , I… I mean, I know you’d never hurt me and yadda freakin’ yadda— whatever— but the _point_ is… I feel _safe_ with you. A-And being surrounded by that? By _you_ , it’s… like I can just… breathe. Like I don’t have to run anymore, y’know? B-Because I don’t _have_ to go anywhere, ‘cause you’re where I’d wanna go, anyway, a-and you always _have_ been my safe place, even before you… told me that could be _literal_.”

Pausing to catch her breath, Lex idly swung her legs and looked down to her clasped hands in her lap. “But it still… it still stands. You’re still the person I go to whenever shit goes sideways, and whenever I’m with you, it… I feel like…” She broke into an awkward laugh, brushing a few strands of hair away from her face. _“Fuck_ this whole thing sounds so stupid now. Sorry if I made this weird, I—”

He brought her closer before she could find a way to backpedal out of the situation entirely, and when he did… the look on his face made her want to cry. 

Though to be fair, if she _did_ , she wouldn’t be the only one doing it. 

In the darkness, his eyes looked damp, the faint glow of the streetlights lining the school field only highlighting the tears threatening to trail down his cheeks as he shakily took a breath in and offered a soft, crooked smile. “Can I kiss you?” He asked, shakily. 

Lex’s smile wobbled. “Uh, _yeah_ , I _might_ cry if you don’t.”

She didn’t get the chance to cry before his lips brushed lightly against her own. 

Even though he was at _least_ a hundred times her size, his gentleness always blew her away. His mouth could easily fit over her entire body, yet when his lips pressed to hers, there was nothing but complete and utter _love_ pouring out of the action, and damn it, she was going to try her best to do the same. Lightly cupping his jaw in her hand, she pressed her lips passionately to his and leaned heavily into the action, trying to get her point across despite the size difference making it hard.

If she could, she would’ve hugged him, but as she leaned against his lips, she could feel his grip on her changing, his fingers wrapping neatly around her waist and holding her aloft with ease in what she recognized right away as his attempt at a hug.

She didn’t want to pull away. 

If she didn’t have to, she never would. His lips were plush, and soft, and _warm_ on her face. His grip wasn’t too tight, but far away enough from loose that she knew she wouldn’t fall, and when she lightly ran her fingers under his chin, a low, rumbling _purr_ shook her right to her core and made her insides buzz with the sound— a soft hum pulling from her in response. 

It was three soft notes. 

_I love you._

She was the first to do it— just three somewhat mismatched tones— though he was quick to hold her closer and return the sound, his purrs leaving the noise more than a little bit slurred, though it was oddly endearing. 

_Love you, too._

When he pulled away, it was slow. Hesitant. Just enough to make her more than aware of the fact that he didn’t _want_ to be doing it, though when he _did_ , it let her see his eyes.

Kind and gentle. 

Nothing monstrous about them. 

Carefully sitting back on the palm of his hand and offering a crooked smile, she felt her heart skip a beat when he did the same. Bad boys weren’t _supposed_ to have genuine, lopsided grins, but Ethan Green must’ve missed the memo, because for someone who was _supposed_ to be threatening and unapproachable, he looked like a _complete_ dork when he smiled— not that she was complaining. 

“So,” she murmured, softly, “if you’re not scared off by me being a complete fucking weirdo about this whole thing…”

A soft snicker escaped his lips in response to her words. “Pretty much th’ opposite, babe. I… I mean, heh, _ditto_ . Glad you don’t mind all…” Gesturing to himself, Ethan gave a small sigh. “ _This_.”

Lex quirked a brow at him, biting back a smirk. “Do you _really_ think I would’ve stuck around this long if I _did?”_

 _How_ was he allowed to be so cute, again?

It wasn’t fair what he did to her. With those twinkling eyes and that grin that brought her to her knees, it was easy to remember why she’d been so drawn to him in the first place. His nose wrinkled slightly when he smiled, eyes crinkling in the corners, and although the lighting wasn’t the best, she _swore_ he was blushing slightly— not that she’d call him out on it.

She looked no better. 

“Probably not,” he answered after a moment spent gazing at her with a completely lovestruck expression. 

Lex grinned at him. “Well, there you go.” Keeping eye-contact with him, she carefully ran her fingers through her hair before giving a quiet laugh. “So, Green, now that I’ve gone and actually _explained_ my whole fuckin’ side of this thing…” 

Although her skin was prickling and her insides were twisting into nervous knots, she couldn’t help but feel her heart melt a little when a confused expression crossed his face.

“...Lex, you really don’t gotta—”

Another low groan from his middle caused him to snap his mouth shut and look away abruptly, and this time, Lex was _certain_ that his face turned bright pink. 

Was it weird that she found it kind of adorable?

Probably, but Lex didn’t care. 

Smirking somewhat knowingly, she carefully stood up once more on the surface of his palm and jutted out her chin toward him. “...open up, Eth,” she prompted, gently. 

His brows drew together. “Are you—”

“Ask me if I’m sure again,” she threatened, shooting him a mock glare, “and I _swear_ , I’ll turn around and climb right back in through my window.” 

Ethan rolled his eyes. “ _Fine_ ,” he grumbled, mock annoyance lacing his words, though it was quick to turn to concern. “Shout at me if somethin’ goes wrong though, okay?” 

It was Lex’s turn to roll her eyes. “Nothing will,” she promised. “Now come on, I’m _freezing._ ” 

For a moment, it looked like he was going to protest. His brows were furrowed. His eyes were fixed on her, pupils a little thinner than they had been a moment ago, though at one look from Lex… he sighed, smiled, and let his mouth fall open before her.

It took her eyes a moment to take in everything.

In the darkness, she could see his teeth first and foremost— gleaming in the low light of the streetlamps— with inhumanly sharp points, and just behind those, there was his tongue, which he was quick to stick out past his fangs and let hang just past his lips where it stayed mostly still. Thin strands of saliva shone like beaded rope, and as Lex’s eyes adjusted, she was quick to focus on the dark tunnel of his throat, a small, nervous twinge settling in her chest. 

His eyes had slid closed with the movement, and as she shifted how she was standing on his palm and exhaled slowly, trying not to focus on the points of his teeth or the fleshy tunnel of his gullet— _fuck_. 

_It’s fine._

_He won’t hurt me._

_He never would._

Ethan was gentle. She _knew_ he was gentle. He was gentle, and kind, and funny, and so, so much more— hell, there was a reason she’d stayed at his side for so long— he was everything she could’ve wanted. He was always there to protect her, and comfort her— damn it, it was her turn to do a favour for him. 

Setting her jaw and squaring her shoulders, she took a step forward and pressed her hand to the surface of his tongue, and after a small moment, let her other hand move to join it, sitting there motionlessly for a few seconds before her fingers twitched, running along the soft, slightly damp surface. 

Her heart was pounding. 

Her whole body was tense, though when she looked up at Ethan’s eyes and caught him with one eye half-open, looking down at her carefully, she exhaled a soft laugh and carefully, slowly, _cautiously,_ began to creep forward, hiking one leg up to brace her knee against his tongue, leaving her halfway sprawled across the warm muscle. 

Saliva dripped across her small form as she crawled into his jaws, slipping deeper and deeper into his mouth with every movement she made. She could _feel_ his breath all around her, hot and all-encompassing. Her hair was already beginning to get slicked back on her head, and although she _knew_ he couldn’t control it, she couldn’t help but wince when she felt a glob of spit run down the back of her neck. 

_Gross._

Did she really taste that good or what?

From the amount of drool puddling under her hands and knees, she was _fairly_ certain that the answer to her question was _yes._

Lightly tapping his tongue, squishing the cushy surface in her fingers, she felt the whole thing shift and slide under her weight— nearly causing her to lose her balance entirely. “Hey, you holdin’ up okay?” She questioned, at which Ethan gave a soft hum that vibrated the entire space around her.

With the faint light from outside illuminating his jaws, Lex gingerly glanced at the teeth fencing her in, then to the tongue she was bracing her weight against, and to the looming abyss of his throat before she exhaled, slowly.

 _Fuck_ going headfirst. 

No fucking thanks.

As much as the first time had been a fucking disaster on all counts, it _had_ done a good job of demonstrating that being crammed headfirst down her boyfriend’s throat _wasn’t_ something she enjoyed. At all. 

God, just _thinking_ of that stupid first time was enough to make her screw her eyes shut momentarily and stiffen in place, listening to Ethan’s deep breathing around her and feeling every little shift and movement of the muscle under her. 

_Don’t think about it._

This _wasn’t_ the first time.

This was _now_ , and she had _asked_ for this. 

Opening her eyes, greeted by the sight of his throat before her— practically at eye-level with his uvula— Lex forced her limbs into motion and turned to face the front of his mouth. His tongue dipped slightly, bending in the middle under her, though she paid it no mind, instead, scooting forward. 

Not that it’d change her destination, but it made the nerves settling over her fade to know that she wasn’t _inches_ from slipping past the point of no return.

They settled even further when Ethan hummed softly and his tongue pitched beneath her, flipping her lightly onto her side and prodding at her in a silent question.

Lex swatted the muscle away. “Yeah, I’m fine, you dork,” she promised, “just settling. Fuckin’ weird in here— you drool like, _way_ too much.” Squishing her hands into his tongue for emphasis and earning a low, rumbling purr in response, Lex let herself fall out of a crouching position to lie on her front, the tongue under her folding slightly against her weight.

A soft breeze blew over her from past his teeth— the night air causing goosebumps to break across her skin. She knew it was just him inhaling, and when he _exhaled_ , it warmed her to her core and made her relax further. 

For someone who outwardly looked so tough, on the inside, he was a huge softie— in this case, _literally_. The surface beneath her sagged when she braced her weight on one hand and adjusted how she lay, slipping lightly— his head tilting slightly forward, moving her a little closer to those jutting fangs and his still-open mouth, though it was closing, slowly. The thin sliver of light began to disappear behind his jagged teeth and lips, leaving a zigzagging shadow falling across her, then… nothing at all. Nothing but darkness, dampness, warmth, and soft breathing. 

A small hum rolled through the air around her. 

Lex tapped his tongue in response. 

Although it was dark inside his mouth, Lex rolled onto her back and pressed at the roof of his mouth, lightly running her fingers along the ridges there. She didn’t need her eyes to make them out, after all. His tongue rose beneath her in response, and as she gently traced the indentations, biting her lip to keep from giggling, a soft purr shook through her. 

A faint squelching noise sounded when she found herself pressed up against the roof of his mouth entirely, followed by a small swallow that caused everything to shift back a few inches— herself included— though it _also_ caused some of the saliva slicking her down to disappear from his mouth. 

Eventually, so would she.

Her spine tingled at the thought, though as she closed her eyes and breathed in the warm air, taking in the sensations of his tongue curling around her side in the darkness, she… found it wasn’t a fearful tingling. 

With Ethan, it never would be. 

Her open hoodie and shirt were soaked completely through now, sticking slightly to her skin as his tongue flipped her around in place, not sending her down like she’d thought but rather pushing her from side to side. 

_Is he…_

Her heart rate quickened.

_Tasting me?_

It sure as shit seemed like it. Between the movements of his tongue lightly swatting her from one side of his mouth to the other and the deep, all-encompassing _purrs_ that were shaking through her entire body, she was fairly certain that she didn’t taste… awful.

Which was a fucking weird thing to be thinking about, though in her defence, the situation wasn’t exactly one where any sane person would be thinking _normal_ thoughts. 

For fuck’s sake, she was in the mouth of a _shifter._ Totally helpless. She hadn’t a _speck_ of control, and as Ethan moved his tongue under her shape, she found herself slipping from one end of his mouth to the other, the muscle expertly maneuvering her without a scrap of hesitation. 

Most people would be thinking of how to escape, or at least cause him discomfort— maybe they’d be thinking of getting the purring to stop, but Lex?

With every deep vibration of noise, she found herself going more and more limp, even when her back met a row of sharp fangs. After all, she knew they wouldn’t touch her. Her arms hung limply at her sides, only moving to push a little against the end of his tongue— but only when it dragged across her face, and _only_ because he made a pleased little noise when it did.

Prick. 

Gravity seemed to change on a whim around her. 

She knew it was just him tilting his head, but still, it caused a weird feeling of weightlessness to take hold as she felt the air growing warmer, the spit clinging to her limp form only aiding her in sliding back, back—

Involuntarily, Lex felt her body grow tense. 

The sliding stopped. 

Another slick gulp made her shudder momentarily, though it… wasn’t one that pulled her downward, save for a light tug at her ankles. 

_...what?_

Opening her eyes slightly, not that it made much difference, Lex shakily sat up and poked at the roof of his mouth, already feeling more and more saliva starting to dribble down her back. 

_What the hell?_

“...Ethan?” She questioned, earning a gentle noise of confirmation from the shifter around her and a soft twitch from the muscle beneath her. 

“Is something… wrong?” She tried, concern filtering into her voice before she could even try taking it out.

Fuck.

She must’ve done something wrong— had she pressured him? Had she made him uncomfortable? Had she—

Another low hum— a two toned one— interrupted her thoughts before she could start to spiral. 

A no. 

It was coupled with a light head shake that caused her to slip and land on her hands and knees with a soft _splat_ , some of the spit still left in his mouth with her causing it to feel almost like she’d fallen in a puddle— though she didn’t get a chance to readjust how she was laying. 

In an instant, she was pinned up against the roof of his mouth entirely, the motion catching her off guard enough to pry a startled sound from her throat.

A sound that was lost in the noise buzzing around her. 

As she was pitched from side to side, Lex forced herself to go limp and _listen_ , and only then did she realize he was trying to talk. 

He was doing a shit job at it. 

Even though it sounded like he was trying to be quiet, his voice still rumbled through her like thunder. Three quiet words.

“Are you okay?”

The movement stopped. 

Lex slumped back to the middle of his tongue, motionless. 

For a second, all she did was breathe. Her breaths were coming a little shakier than they had been moments ago, quivering lightly in her throat as she lay there on her front, eyes screwing shut tight once again.

Her hands were quivering.

_Fuck._

It was _literally_ just because she was thinking of the first time. That was the only reason her chest felt a little too tight as she lay there, surrounded by someone who _cared_ about her enough to put his fucking _instincts_ on pause and ask if she was _okay_ — that _alone_ should’ve been enough to get her to say yes, but…

_I’m overthinking._

She _knew_ she was overthinking. 

It was one of her special skills— should’ve put it on her resume. She was good at math, quick on her feet, and was a critical overthinker— usually to a fault. 

Overthinker, or, sometimes, when her hellbrain had _really_ kicked up a notch, an underthinker, which was somehow even _worse,_ because then, she only had one person to blame, and it was _herself_ , for doing some reckless shit—

The tongue under her twitched lightly. 

Some of the tension that had made a home in her chest loosened, albeit, just a little. 

“...yeah,” she breathed, softly. “So long as it’s… y’know, _you,_ and you promise to be gentle and all that shit, yeah.” 

Another two-toned hum followed.

A yes. 

A breath she wasn’t aware she’d been holding followed the sound. 

“...then…”

Inhaling, opening her eyes once more to take in the teeth locked in place around her and the dark, almost _cozy_ surroundings that made up Ethan’s mouth— _god, that sounds fucking weird_ — Lex… let go. 

“Okay.”

It wasn’t something she did often, but in that moment, she let all the tension that was practically a part of her— all that fear and uncertainty— she let it drain from her body. She didn’t have to worry about tomorrow. 

Hell, she didn’t have to worry about _right now_.

Tomorrow would come, and damn it, Lex Foster could worry about it _then_. 

For _now_ , all she had to do was relax, which… was easier than she thought it’d be. 

It shouldn’t have been easy, but… this was just Ethan. All of it. And Ethan would never hurt her— he’d had _years_ to attempt if he wanted, and he _never_ had— and this? 

This was just a way for him to prove for what had to be the _billionth_ time that he cared about her— that he _actually_ cared. It wasn’t some facade, it wasn’t some fucked up way to gain her trust and use her.

He _cared_. 

When his tongue moved again, this time, there was a different energy to it— one that made Lex’s body wrack with an involuntary shudder. Gravity changed again, causing her to slide a little further back in time with his tilting head, slipping until she felt her shoes brush up against the back of his throat. 

His tongue folded back.

Pressure formed around her ankles, greedily tugging at her legs, and with a loud, thick _gulp_ and a strong constriction of muscle—

Down she went. 

It wasn’t as scary as it had seemed before. 

She was still tense as she felt his esophageal muscles rapidly pulling her downward, another heavy swallow causing everything to clench around her shape and force her downward at a faster rate. An outside pressure seemed to join her— _his fingers_ — for a few moments, lightly tracing her down in a way that somewhat slowed her descent. 

Despite being somewhere where she couldn’t possibly be alone, when his touch left and she slid past his collarbone, she couldn’t help but feel a little isolated.

With only the feeling of muscle slithering around her in the darkness, contracting, squeezing on all sides, keeping her arms and legs pinned neatly together, the only thing Lex could rely on was the feeling of gravity taking hold and his muscles forcing her down his gullet, along with _sound_. 

One sound. 

Technically _more_ than one sound, but the best indication of where she was came in the form of a low, steady thumping that seemed to be growing louder and louder the further down Ethan’s throat she slid with every heavy swallow. A quick, two beat pulse. 

His heart. 

She could hear his breathing, too, but that wasn’t what held her focus and made the entire fleshy tube she was being squeezed down buzz with the noise, her own pulse slowing slightly to match the closer she slipped to it— and even when she slid past it entirely, her own heart kept time. 

She wasn’t shaking anymore. 

Her eyes were still closed, but it was more out of relaxation— out of _trust_ than anything else. Her breathing synced with his. Calm and even, until his own changed, moving to be deeper, to take in more air in a way that her body couldn’t.

Enough air for her as well.

Even though there were waves of pressure pulling her down, even though the constant squeezing of his esophagus was a little overwhelming, Lex wasn’t afraid.

Not even when a gurgle from her destination reached her ears and her legs were released from his esophagus entirely, forced through a tight ring of muscle before finding open space—

_Breathe._

She managed a sharp breath in before the rest of her followed, falling the short distance into his stomach and landing with a squelch. 

For a moment, she stayed still.

Completely and utterly still. 

As much as she’d ended up in his stomach on more than one occasion before, it was still a lot to process.

Slowly, her eyes flickered open.

It didn’t make any difference.

The insides of Ethan’s stomach were pitch black, though Lex knew that once her eyes adjusted, she’d be able to make out faintly pink, slimy walls. Under her hands, the organ around her shifted softly, giving a low, rumbling gurgle.

_Breathe._

The air was stale. 

The walls churned slightly. She could feel the smooth muscle behind her dipping like a soft, slippery hammock when she leaned back just a little further, sinking slightly into the warmth. From here, she could _feel_ his heartbeat all around her. 

It made her feel so, _so_ small. 

_So_ fucking small. 

Fucking minuscule.

Hell, she was fairly certain that she barely made a _dent_ in terms of actually helping out with his hunger problem— certainly not enough to be seen from the outside, barely enough to make his stomach sag inwardly. 

Against the organ’s lining, her hand twitched.

A groan from his inner workings sounded in response, loud enough to make her curl up a little in place, drawing her soaked legs against her chest and forcing out a shaky exhale.

_Shaky._

She froze.

_Fuck._

Carefully uncurling from where she was, sitting slouched against one of his stomach walls, Lex took a handful of his flesh in one hand and gave it a soft squeeze. 

“...Ethan?” She tried, raising her voice a little in order to be heard— he claimed to have good hearing and all that shit, but hey, it paid to be careful. “I… I’m okay, it… everything’s fine on this end.”

Moving a hand, she attempted to swat a strand of damp hair out of her face, though all she managed to do was smear a glob of saliva across her nose.

“...fucking _gross_ ,” she added under her breath, “but fine.”

A noise from above caused the whole chamber to buzz softly. A laugh. 

“I _heard_ that, Foster,” he huffed in a way that made it easy to picture the somewhat concerned, but mostly amused expression he was wearing. 

Against her back, one of the walls pushed inward a touch from an outside pressure.

_His hand._

She leaned into it automatically.

Even though she couldn’t _really_ be separated from him where she was, thanks to literally being _inside_ of him, the contact felt like it worlds away. A thick strand of spit connected her shoulder to the stomach wall.

“Yeah, well, it’s _true.”_ With a flick of her wrist, she managed to connect the strand of saliva to her hand rather than her shoulder, leaving it dribbling between her fingers. 

_Well. That’s considerably worse._

Lex couldn’t hold back a soft groan at the sight. Her eyes had adjusted quickly to her living confines, and as she pulled her fingers into a fist, she swatted at where she could feel his hand. “You drool like, a _shitload,_ dude. Might be a medical thing. I’d get it checked out if I were you.”

Another laugh sounded. “Yeah, right, that’d go fucking _great._ What, I just go up like…” clearing his throat, he prodded at her shape before putting on a nasally, high voice he usually used when he was making fun of Oliver. “Excuse me, is it _normal_ for me to drool when I’m fucking _eating people?_ ”

“Oh my god, okay, _no,_ that’s not what I fucking meant.” Her elbow raised to jab against the folds of his stomach lining, a sharp scoff winding up from her throat. “You say it like this is something you do all the fucking time.”

She couldn’t help from glancing upward as she spoke. With her eyes adjusting more quickly, she could vaguely make out the top of his belly from where she was sitting, the surface beneath her reminding her of how she’d always imagined it would be like to touch a jellyfish, but warmer.

And admittedly, a little slimier, not to mention, his stomach had some sort of _pulse_ that went with it— in time with his breathing and heartbeat— and if she pressed hard enough against the wall, she could feel the subtle shifts and churns acknowledging her presence there. 

It shouldn’t have been comforting.

But for some damn reason, Lex relaxed against the gentle motions of his belly attempting to figure out what she was doing within it, along with Ethan’s careful touch from outside. 

“Well, how would _you_ want me to say it, then?” He challenged, the pressure of his hand growing a little firmer.

Lex snorted. “ _Well_ ,” she started, stretching out in a way that she _knew_ he could feel, based on the way that his whole body shuddered around her, “I dunno, but maybe— just a thought, anyway— there’d be _less_ drool if you didn’t decide to fucking lick me.”

“I—” 

Her elbow pressed harder against his stomach wall. “Don’t you fucking _try_ to deny it, swear to god, Green, just take this one.” 

Above her, Ethan made a noise in the back of his throat— a little _harrumph_ that made her bite her lip against a smile. 

_“Fine,”_ Ethan grumbled after giving a prod from the outside against her elbow, “I’ll take it.”

Satisfied, she retracted her elbow. The wall gave a small squelch when the pressure was removed, though she paid it no mind. Settling down further, back up against the outside pressure of his hand, Lex patted where she could feel the ends of his fingers. “Good,” she praised, “be embarrassing if you tried to lie about it. I’m like, _literally_ covered in proof.” 

_Proof_ that was currently dripping down the back of her neck and sticking to her hoodie in thick strands. Pulling her hand lightly away from the wall, she dragged it through her damp hair and sighed with a shake of her head, raising her eyebrows slightly at his lack of response. “Taking that one, too?” 

Everything around her shifted. The wall behind her folded inward in a soft poke. “Yep.” 

A moment of relative silence passed. Neither of them spoke, sure, but around Lex, there was still noise. Nothing too crazy, just… ambient sounds. Soft gurgles, for one, along with even breathing and far, far above her— a heartbeat that pulsed through the walls and set her own in sync with it. 

“Wow.”

“ _Well_ ,” he started in a bit of a mumble, “I can’t really _deny_ it.”

“You _could_ ,” Lex returned, “but you’d be a liar.”

“A bad one.”

“Aren’t you already?”

Another beat of silence gave Lex time to slump back completely against his stomach wall. Fuck it. At this point, she was already tired, cold, and soaked to the bone with spit and other fluids she _really_ didn’t want to name. If she was going to be there awhile, may as well get comfortable.

“...no,” Ethan lied in response. 

Lex exhaled a laugh. Almost automatically, she elbowed his stomach wall, earning a sharp prod in response. “Asshole.”

“You’re _dating_ me, though,” he pointed out in a tone of voice that made Lex _acutely_ aware of the fact that he was smirking, “what’s that say about you?”

Lex didn’t hesitate.

“That I have low standards?” 

Ethan did.

“Fucking excuse me?”

Grinning and stretching out further, Lex elbowed him again— harder, to a point where she put almost her entire weight into the movement. He could take it. “Yeah,” she agreed, “ _you’re_ the reacher, _I’m_ the settler.”

“...ain’t that a type of dog?”

“You calling me a bitch, Green?”

“I— wait, now _hold on a fucking second—“_

She did not, in fact, hold on a fucking second before _bursting_ into a gale of laughter that earned her a huff from above and the feeling of everything shifting as Ethan changed how he was leaning against the wall.

“Okay, y’know what, fuck you— you’re _amazing,_ ” he grumbled, the fact that he he sounded so annoyed to be delivering a compliment enough to make Lex laugh _harder,_ “and I’m fairly certain I could make a ‘you’re _my_ bitch’ joke, here, but I _won’t.”_

“What a gentleman you are.”

A soft hum floated down to her in response. The wall she was leaning against folded inward in a familiar motion— that of his fingers from the outside lightly trailing down her back. In response, she grabbed a handful of his stomach lining and gently squeezed it, snickering quietly at the groan it drew from his inner workings. 

The silence between them was comfortable, and so was she. 

Everything around her was just so _soft_ — soft and _warm_ — and the more she leaned back into it, the heavier her eyelids seemed to become. Her head lolled back against the plush inner walls of his stomach, and with a small, contented sigh, she squeezed the organ’s lining again. 

He purred in response.

The gentle, familiar vibration warmed her right to her core, chasing away those last scraps of cold that had somehow managed to sink into her skin with ease.

“Hey, is it…” trailing off to better knead at the space around her, drawing yet another series of thick sounding purrs from the shifter around her, Lex cocked her head slightly as she tried to form words properly. “Is it weird if I ask you for permission to sleep?”

Even as she spoke, her eyes were slipping closed.

She couldn’t help it.

His insides were just so… _gentle_ . There was the soothing sound of his heartbeat above her, of his even breathing, and she really, _really_ hadn’t been bullshitting him when she’d said she felt safe within him. Nobody could get her, not in here. They’d be fucking cazy for even _trying_ , and even if they did, she hadn’t an inkling of doubt that Ethan would defend her with everything he had in him and then some. 

“No,” he responded, laughing quietly, “ain’t weird at all, babe. Honestly it’s… probably th’ most normal thing that’s happened tonight.” 

“Good. ‘Cause I was totally gonna fucking crash anyway, even if you said no.”

With his permission given, Lex carefully nuzzled just a little more into the grooves of his stomach lining and ran her fingers one more time across his insides— squeezing, gently, one, two, three times. 

From the noise of his purring growing louder around her— loud enough to make her surroundings vibrate once more from the sound— she knew he’d gotten the message. 

“G’night,” she mumbled up to him, “just don’t fall asleep. Wake me up in like, I dunno, an hour?” 

She could practically hear him nod. “Sure,” he returned, gently running his hand over her shape once more in a way that made her spine tingle. “I don’t got any plans for the night or anythin’, so… sleep tight, I guess?” 

Again, she squeezed his stomach lining, three times, letting her fingers dig just slightly in with each movement in an attempt to make sure he really felt it. The flesh gave way easily under her touch, and with her opposite hand, she trailed her fingers across the bottom of his stomach and sighed, faint smile on her face as she did. “Will do,” she mumbled.

And she did.

The only _problem_ with that was that Ethan fell asleep like, a _minute_ later. 

Outside.

In the cold.

With his back up against the school wall just outside the shop classroom and his neck at a weird angle.

But whatever.

It was _probably_ fine.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! Thanks for reading this far, be it out of repulsion or genuine enjoyment. I have part of an aftermath to this fic written up that I may post as a second chapter, but as a one off, I figure it stands on its own rather nicely. Let me know what you think!


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